512-589-0482 elly@ellyvanlaar.com

Leaf on a riverI joined a virtual writers community

884 Members. Bloggers who encourage, inspire and help each other get their books published.

I read that you should join a writers community if you want to have your book published.

And I do!

I want hundreds of people standing in line, waiting to get my book autographed. I want the phone ringing like crazy with publishers dying to publish my book. I want to be the most wanted guest in any important talk show.

You get it? I want to be famous, meaningful and influential.

So I joined a community, as suggested.

I now have 884 co-authors who will applaud me, cherish me, and promote my work.

884 Authors who want the favors returned

Competitors who want to sell their stuff to the same audience. An audience who can only read so much. One book at a time. Their book.

Scarcity

I feel scared. There is not gonna be enough fish in this ocean. Someone is gonna starve. Me.

This whole writing ambition triggers my sense of scarcity. I have been repeating “I am enough. I do enough. I have enough”, over and over again.  At least a couple of minutes a day. I loved singing it.

Now I feel how I don’t believe it is true. How my system reacts “No, you don’t. You can certainly pretend you are enough, but you most certainly don’t do enough. Let alone have enough. Don’t fool yourself! Go for a walk in the woods, and feel happy and contained. But remember: once you’re home, you’ll crash with two feet on the ground and face up to reality: there is not enough for everyone.”

My thoughts float like a leaf on the river

Steven Hayes and Spencer Smith write about having your thoughts, not being them (Get Out of Your Head & Into Your Life, 2005). Creating a little space between your thought and your identity. No attachment to having  them, or not having them. Just seeing them as they pop up in your head.

I can do that. I can watch the thoughts of scarcity drift by, like leaves on a river. I don’t need to jump on the leaf, nor do I need to push it away.

I can just watch the thought. And see the beauty of it. It’s monstrous, consuming presence. How unique! Fascinating. I am a tornado chaser of thoughts. I am so excited to watch it, that I don’t even think of running away from it. Bring it on, baby!

Nothing to be scared of. Nothing to resist. Just a thought. Rising and floating on a river. It is a thought, not me.

Commitment to my dreams

In this non-fighting that arises, I experience space and freedom to pursue my dream and applaud others do the same.

I am happy I joined this group of fellow-travelers. I am ready to cherish, inspire and encourage them. May we all write magnificent stories. For magnificent readers.

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You want help observing your feelings and thoughts, not being them? Contact me for a complimentary, discovery session. 512-589-0482 

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