Transform Conflict into Collaboration
You want some inspiration?
The do’s and don’ts of living with empathy, compassion, and integrity
“Thanks!!! I enjoy reading all of them!!” Carol Jean L-Z, Austin, TX
“Oh wow, Elly! How many people have been in your shoes and decided to meet their needs for emotional and financial safety, instead of their needs for integrity????” Diane Emerson, Vashon, WA
I want to matter to myself
I want to ask for a raise. I don't receive my pay check as appreciation for the value I add. I think my empathy and mediation skills are unique and contribute to the emotional, social, and academic development of my clients. I empower them to be autonomous, authentic,...
Can advice be true empathy?
Something is jammed in my neck. It is stiff and painful. I can turn it -carefully- to the left and right. I can bend it forward. I can hardly bend it backward. Drinking my tea is a challenge. I tell my husband about it. He immediately comes up with advice: take a ten...
Empathy for unsollicited advice
You struggle with your co-worker. You feel frustrated and upset and you want more collaboration, understanding and support. You're looking forward to talk about it with your friend. Alas. As soon as you start talking about the situation, she responds with advice. “You...
Emotional liberation
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try and how sincere your intentions, your efforts to connect and support are not enough. What you wish for doesn't happen, and you receive a response you wished you hadn't received. Ouch moments. My friend doesn't want to continue...
Mourning and regret
I didn't call my friend as promised. Last week I canceled our phone call too. I feel bad about it. How do I feel when I think I'm bad? Hum... I close my eyes and listen to my body. Your physical sensations offer wonderful opportunities to connect to what's really...
Emotional potty training
I am so happy with my emotional potty training. After I realized that I'm emotionally incontinent, I went on a quest to learn how to stand my anger, jealousy, fear, and other unwelcome feelings. I learned how to have my feelings, connect, accept and understand them...
Opening up to the vulnerability of life
I always thought that retreats are peaceful, tranquil, and joyful. How wrong can you can be? This retreat was unnerving, disquieting, and disorienting. In these two days I realized how much of my life has been dominated by my fear that I won't get the love,...
Am I my thoughts?
I love meditation. I love sitting on my cushion, lighting my candle, inviting the bell to sound, and bringing my attention to my in- and outbreath. And whenever a thought arises, labeling it as 'thinking'. My meditation cushion is my sacred haven. This morning I sit...
Help me
“Help me” Something softens in me. My heart opens up. I am not alone, I can ask my friend to help me figure out what would work for ALL of us. “Help me” It is a message of courage and vulnerability. I open up and own my needs for mattering, acceptance, support. I...
Books & Publications
Enjoy!
Leadership Coaching
Explorations into the Being and Doing of Coaching
17 Chapters written by 17 wonderful coaches. One of them is me.
For Clients
Free Webinar “Effective Communication”
What is Nonviolent Communication?
Making Irresistible Requests
These Are Not Feelings
About Elly
Immutable Laws
Terms and Conditions
My Teachers
My Passion