Transform Conflict into Collaboration
You want some inspiration?
The do’s and don’ts of living with empathy, compassion, and integrity
“Thanks!!! I enjoy reading all of them!!” Carol Jean L-Z, Austin, TX
“Oh wow, Elly! How many people have been in your shoes and decided to meet their needs for emotional and financial safety, instead of their needs for integrity????” Diane Emerson, Vashon, WA
Inner mediation between my grandfather and my father, 2/3
(continued from Inner mediation between my grandfather and my father, 1/3) I-as-my-grandfather expressed to my father-part how much I love him and wish for him he would rest. I-as-my-grandfather wants to hear how this lands for my father-part. I move to the opposite...
Inner mediation between my father, my grandfather and me 1/3
Thank God for friends. Thank God for friends who empathize. Thank God for friends who participate in the Mediate Your Life Program. And my goodness, thank God for Leah Wolftal. I am overwhelmed with fear about my poison ivy rash, our house, my income. I don't know how...
We don’t chose the times we live in, we only chose how to respond
My grandfather and I are standing on the porch, ready for our daily 30 minutes of connection. He stops and listens to the birds. “It is so beautiful here, so peaceful. I feel so happy to just stand here with you and listen. To feel the breeze on my skin, the sun...
Trusting my life energy will bring me everything I need
My granddad wants to tell me how to run my business. Oops. Not my thing. I rather want him to engage my power, creativity, and resilience. I move to my granddad's spot on the right and he responds: “I get you. I would love to hear your ideas!” I feel relieved. Moving...
My grandfather inspires me to WANT to be me
I'm out in the woods again, with my grandfather. I feel tired. I much, much rather go to sleep. I tell him. He looks at me and reflects my longing for rest. There is so much acceptance in his response, so much understanding, such a deep desire to support. As soon as I...
Transforming my hero image into self-acceptance
I'm in the woods with my grandfather. I've never met him. He died when my dad was not even eleven. He was a member of a resistance movement in the Netherlands during WWII, betrayed, arrested by the Nazi's, and dead after ten days in prison. He stood up for his...
Is this ego or a behavior I don’t like?
I am not a big fan of the word 'ego'. I find the term too judgmental. I associate it with being egoistic, which I hear as rejection. I don't want to be egoistic, and I certainly don't want to be seen as such by others. I also want more compassion and empathy for the...
Fear in, jackals out
Sometimes our blame, criticism, and anger is actually an habitual, automatic response to our fear. We perceive we're in danger and we get so scared we immediately react with counterattack. We don't allow ourselves to stop, breathe, feel, and connect to our needs. We...
Hearing the cry for help in your self-blame
You can also have jackal ears inward that are actually trying to cover up a deep sadness, maybe even a sense of not being worthy, and a fear that you will never be good enough to get the acceptance and love you long for. The pain is buried underneath the...
Books & Publications
Enjoy!
Leadership Coaching
Explorations into the Being and Doing of Coaching
17 Chapters written by 17 wonderful coaches. One of them is me.
For Clients
Free Webinar “Effective Communication”
What is Nonviolent Communication?
Making Irresistible Requests
These Are Not Feelings
About Elly
Immutable Laws
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My Teachers
My Passion