Helping Nonprofit Leaders Transform Conflict

Leadership Coach and Mediator

My granddad wants to tell me how to run my business.

Image courtesy to frozenmotion.typepad.comOops. Not my thing.

I rather want him to engage my power, creativity, and resilience.

I move to my granddad’s spot on the right and he responds: “I get you. I would love to hear your ideas!”

I feel relieved. Moving back to the Elly-spot on the left, I thank him: “Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for honoring my autonomy. I feel happy that you give me space to explore myself what’s working, and what’s not.”


“You know, opa, I really liked talking with the participants of my Communication for Connection Group. I valued hearing what they’re looking for, what they like about the group, and how they want to contribute to our community. I enjoyed making a spreadsheet with participant attendance and evening averages. I have no clue how this is helping the growth of our NVC community, and I just enjoyed the ease, flow, connection of the day… I got stressed out when I forced myself to clean the bedroom. I absolutely didn’t want to do it, I much, much rather had worked on my marketing strategies. But I had planned for it, and so I did.”

“You know, opa, I realize that I don’t trust I will accomplish anything if I go with my life energy. I’m afraid that I will end up just sitting in the woods, enjoying the birds, the breeze in the trees, the bright green fern springing up from the creek.”

I feel a sadness arise.

“Granddad, I am afraid that if I would DO what follows my BEING, I would not HAVE anything. I’m afraid that if I don’t run around being busy, doing a lot, I won’t have anything. Especially love and acceptance. A sense of belonging….”


I don’t trust myself. I don’t trust that my life energy naturally and joyfully will bring me everything I need to thrive and self-actualize my full potential…

We sit quietly for a few minutes….

He just sits there, looking a the trees…

“Wow, Elly. This sounds like the core question of our human existence. It sounds like the essential issue of wholeheartedness. Thank you for sharing, I feel touched by your dilemma.”

Nothing changed. Yet, I feel relieved. Just being clear about where I am stuck. I need nothing more for now. I can let my system process what we just talked about. I trust that it will bring me everything I need.


You want help to trust your life energy? Contact me 512-589-0482 to schedule a complimentary, discovery session.

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