Balance purpose, relationships, and self-care

Empathy works. It always does.

Trusting my life energy will bring me everything I need

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My granddad wants to tell me how to run my business.

Image courtesy to frozenmotion.typepad.comOops. Not my thing.

I rather want him to engage my power, creativity, and resilience.

I move to my granddad’s spot on the right and he responds: “I get you. I would love to hear your ideas!”

I feel relieved. Moving back to the Elly-spot on the left, I thank him: “Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for honoring my autonomy. I feel happy that you give me space to explore myself what’s working, and what’s not.”

Silence.

“You know, opa, I really liked talking with the participants of my Communication for Connection Group. I valued hearing what they’re looking for, what they like about the group, and how they want to contribute to our community. I enjoyed making a spreadsheet with participant attendance and evening averages. I have no clue how this is helping the growth of our NVC community, and I just enjoyed the ease, flow, connection of the day… I got stressed out when I forced myself to clean the bedroom. I absolutely didn’t want to do it, I much, much rather had worked on my marketing strategies. But I had planned for it, and so I did.”

“You know, opa, I realize that I don’t trust I will accomplish anything if I go with my life energy. I’m afraid that I will end up just sitting in the woods, enjoying the birds, the breeze in the trees, the bright green fern springing up from the creek.”

I feel a sadness arise.

“Granddad, I am afraid that if I would DO what follows my BEING, I would not HAVE anything. I’m afraid that if I don’t run around being busy, doing a lot, I won’t have anything. Especially love and acceptance. A sense of belonging….”

Gosh…

I don’t trust myself. I don’t trust that my life energy naturally and joyfully will bring me everything I need to thrive and self-actualize my full potential…

We sit quietly for a few minutes….

He just sits there, looking a the trees…

“Wow, Elly. This sounds like the core question of our human existence. It sounds like the essential issue of wholeheartedness. Thank you for sharing, I feel touched by your dilemma.”

Nothing changed. Yet, I feel relieved. Just being clear about where I am stuck. I need nothing more for now. I can let my system process what we just talked about. I trust that it will bring me everything I need.

—-

You want help to trust your life energy? Contact me 512-589-0482 to schedule a complimentary, discovery session.

Author: Elly van Laar

I am a coach. I specialize in helping professionals schedule time for relationships and self-care. I have a Master's degree in Political Science, Leiden University, the Netherlands. I love meditation, walking, gardening, biking, and hanging out with family and friends.

3 thoughts on “Trusting my life energy will bring me everything I need

  1. Wow!, that was a lot to think about. Most interesting. I love going into the yard and doing yard work with something to reflect on. This blog really hits home to me. INTROSPECTION!! Always an ally if we are honest with ourselves. To believe in ourselves, we must first be honest with ourselves. Look at all the great teachers. Jesus even had his moments of fear in the Garden. MLK had his fear of his movement, and how if would effect not just him, but his family. Fear makes us question, love brings in the courage to go forward. MLK once said, “Love brings us beyond the corridors of misunderstandings and half truths, and into the sunlit valley of objective appraisal. You rock Miss Elly!

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    • Thank you, Richard, I so much enjoy reading your responses. I agree, before we can believe in ourselves, we first be honest with ourselves. Otherwise, there is nothing to believe in, just configurations of our imagined self. And yes, I always take refuge in Jesus’ fear (and anger, for that matter, too). When he was in Gethsemane, he got overwhelmed with fear, asking God to take the cup away. I have always felt touched by that. A human being, Son of God, who rather wished to live, than suffer and die. I take courage out of his commitment to what he believed to be true: to follow God’s plan and your heart’s purpose, always is the choice that brings life. Tomorrow’s post is about making that choice.

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      • Wonderful, can’t wait to read it. I have lots of yard work tomorrow, and you’ll give me lots to think about. Thank you for all your thoughts and ideas. This is fun. Peace

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