Transform Conflict into Collaboration
You want some inspiration?
The do’s and don’ts of living with empathy, compassion, and integrity
“Thanks!!! I enjoy reading all of them!!” Carol Jean L-Z, Austin, TX
“Oh wow, Elly! How many people have been in your shoes and decided to meet their needs for emotional and financial safety, instead of their needs for integrity????” Diane Emerson, Vashon, WA
Judgments, criticism, and blame are tragic expressions of unmet needs
Unfortunately, we usually hear them as a message of wrongness of us, of who we are in our core being. We take the message personally and defend or doubt ourselves, or we withdraw within. It is often easier to hear criticism, blame, and judgment from a stranger, from...
How does your future self inspire you?
My future self is calm, wise, compassionate, open, exuberant, welcoming, peaceful, radiant with love. Yep, fun to be around with. I would love to have her as my friend. She is grounded in the truth that she matters and is valued and respected, even if no one else...
Something is wrong with mindfulness
I am absolutely sure. It is idiotic to sit on a meditation cushion, bring my awareness to my breath, while I should do something to stop IS from abducting Yezidi women and selling them as sex slaves or using them as cannon flesh. Or at least spend my meditation time...
What’s wrong with cockroaches?
I really don’t know. I’ve seen a dead one in our house, and I didn’t notice any negative impact on me, my husband, my health, my sense of well-being. Yet, I do want to exterminate them immediately. I want to call pest control, and make sure they never, ever walk...
Painful behavior is a tragic expression of unmet needs
We celebrated Father’s Day at our Sangha last Sunday. We received a heart upon entrance. A red one if our father had passed away. A white one if he was still alive. I got a white one. When we started our mindful walking, we were asked to pause at the altar, wait for...
Turning toward bids for emotional connection
Everything we do and everything we say is a bid for emotional connection. We want a sense of emotional connection with the people we feel close to. We want to know that we matter to them. We would love them to respond by turning toward us, even when our bids show up...
Sitting on a meditation cushion is NOT about achieving peace and calmness
“The path of the spiritual warrior is to have the courage to face life.” Geshe Lama Phuntsho talks to a visitor at the Sand Mandala Dissolution Ceremony at City Hall Austin, April 17. “We have six consciousness: ear, eye, nose, tongue, touch, and mind. Our suffering...
My jealousy, my child
She is quiet. Her eyes are closed. “I want to talk about my jealousy…. I feel shame around my jealousy.... As if there is something wrong with me…. It is hard to talk about it…. I am so afraid I will be rejected when people know about my jealousy….” She looks down,...
Giving to others by celebrating your own life
I had my birthday last week. I carry pain around my birthdays. Not getting the presents I want. Having anxiety that I am not popular enough. Fearing that no one will like my parties. Things like that. It all boils down to the thought that my birthday is a litmus test...
Books & Publications
Enjoy!
Leadership Coaching
Explorations into the Being and Doing of Coaching
17 Chapters written by 17 wonderful coaches. One of them is me.
For Clients
Free Webinar “Effective Communication”
What is Nonviolent Communication?
Making Irresistible Requests
These Are Not Feelings
About Elly
Immutable Laws
Terms and Conditions
My Teachers
My Passion