Bring your life into balance

Empathy works. It always does.

Conversations about change: Future Self (5/6)


Future selfNo change is gonna happen, unless you have a vision of what you want more of in your life, that is positive and within you influence. Unless you have a goal, you’re not gonna move.

Saying “no” to your current situation is not enough.

Imagine your friend asks you to book a holiday for him. He tells you not to book a holiday to Syria. Now what? Do you have any idea what he does want? A sunny beach holiday in Mexico? A city trip to Los Angeles? A family visit to the Netherlands? It will be difficult to organize a holiday that he likes.

How can you do a don’t?

I like to share a visualization exercise with you, to help you connect with what you do want (gratitude to Francois Beausoleil).

Find a quiet, private spot.

Find a comfortable position. Relax. Maybe close your eyes. Bring your attention to your breath. Notice how it flows through you.

Let your attention drift into the future. Say, 6 months from now. You’ll find another version of yourself. Slightly different, in important ways. Feel what it’s like to be that future self. Breathe exactly as they would. See through their eyes. Feel how good their experience feels.

You might feel gratitude for the way they live their lives. The people they serve, the friends they have. It seems simple and obvious to them to share their deepest values, dreams and beliefs with those around them. They let go of some of the negative, old beliefs they had. Beliefs that limited them.

What have you done that led you to that place? You have learned some important key elements to get there. You have alignment between your vision, your inner world, and what you do.

As you keep breathing through your future self, you take three snapshots from your future life. Maybe feedback from someone who is grateful for how you served them. Maybe your friends and family, celebrating your existence. Maybe the house you always wanted. Maybe a feeling of joy, peace, love. Take three snapshots from your future life, and take them with you in this moment.

Now travel your attention half way and above the time line between the two versions of yourself. You see the entire 6 months. Feel appreciation for all the learning you achieved, all the actions you took, all the challenges you overcame.

Step again in the future version of yourself, and from that future version make eye contact with your current self. With a smile, pass a small gift from the future version to your current self. Something only known by the two of you. As your current self receive it with gratitude.

Relax. Breathe in and out. You are fully into the current version of yourself. You are connected to your current experience. You accept the smile, the gift, the insight you received.

You bring your attention back to this moment, this place. Open your eyes, and be here.

A happy new year!

Contact me if you want support to take a first step to your future self, 512 589 0482 

Author: Elly van Laar

I am a coach. I specialize in helping mission-driven professionals bring their lives into balance. I have a Master's degree in Political Science, Leiden University, the Netherlands. I'm currently in an ICF-coaching certification program. I love meditation, walking, gardening, biking, and hanging out with family and friends.

3 thoughts on “Conversations about change: Future Self (5/6)

  1. Pingback: January 14, 2017- Past, Present and Future selfs | april4june6: A journal of self-tranformation

  2. Pingback: One step is enough, just one step towards your vision | Elly van Laar, Compassion Coach

  3. Pingback: Six step to make conscious commitments | Elly van Laar, Compassion Coach

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