Transform Conflict into Collaboration
You want some inspiration?
The do’s and don’ts of living with empathy, compassion, and integrity
“Thanks!!! I enjoy reading all of them!!” Carol Jean L-Z, Austin, TX
“Oh wow, Elly! How many people have been in your shoes and decided to meet their needs for emotional and financial safety, instead of their needs for integrity????” Diane Emerson, Vashon, WA
Use your self-criticism to nurture self-compassion
“Michelle is offering a free intro Nonviolent Communication at church.” Sounds neutral, yes? And yet, all your jackal ears are pricked up. Turned inwards. Remember the jackal? The animal that’s the Nonviolent Communication symbol for all the criticism, judgments,...
From blame and criticism to self-connection and understanding
Everything always starts with connection. Well, maybe not always. Maybe not even so very often. Maybe, just maybe, hardly ever. Maybe, we usually start with a judgment, a counterattack, a criticism. We hear a message and something in us gets triggered. The message...
Joy for being alive
May 4, 8 pm. The Netherlands. Two minutes of silence. A national commemoration of everyone who died in any war around the world since WW II. Children, elderly, veterans, peace activists, blacks, whites: we stand side by side at our local war memorial and are silent....
Everything always starts with connection
You want to ask for a raise. You have been working in this job for several years, and you feel confident that you add value. You want appreciation for the unique qualities you bring to your clients, acknowledgment for the results you've accomplished, and support for...
Empathy helps. It always does.
You wake up in the morning and you are already dreading the conversation with this parent in the afternoon. You fear he will blame you for the poor grades of his daughter. You don't like these difficult conversations. You anticipate conflict, and want connection. You...
Enjoying the jackal show
You sit on your cushion at your Sangha. It is time for tea. The two cushions on your left and right are empty. As is customary when tea is served and your neighbor is off to the bathroom, you take two cups: one for yourself and one for your neighbor to your left. The...
A glimpse of my true nature
The kids want someone else to babysit them tonight. Not forever, just this once. “She's more fun, because she plays games with us.” Ouch. Well, honestly: ouch, ouch, ouch. I've been with them for so long. I try so hard to support everyone's needs. I care about them....
I am way bigger than my perspective
The cool thing about expressing what you want and being open to hear what's up for the other party, is that you're actually owning up to your needs and your experience of whether they're being met. It's about you validating yourself. You're accepting and honoring your...
A holy journey into my fear
I get in my car to drive off for my salary negotiation. I feel anxious. A deep fear comes up that I have to face I'm not that important, that I don't matter that much, that I won't be heard. I stop. I do a quick self-connection practice. Breath. Physical sensations....
Books & Publications
Enjoy!
Leadership Coaching
Explorations into the Being and Doing of Coaching
17 Chapters written by 17 wonderful coaches. One of them is me.
For Clients
Free Webinar “Effective Communication”
What is Nonviolent Communication?
Making Irresistible Requests
These Are Not Feelings
About Elly
Immutable Laws
Terms and Conditions
My Teachers
My Passion