I’m sorting through my stuff. We might have to move. To a much smaller place. I couldn’t take much with me.
I’m holding all the books, all the shirts, all the letters, all my small boxes in my hands, and I am choosing which ones I can take, which ones I have to let go. I’m crying. I’m feeling a sadness and a sense of loss as I see the little book on love, hope, and faith my mother gave me years ago to encourage me through my divorce. The poetry a colleague gave me as a farewell gift when I left my job. The tap dancing shoes I bought for my new-found and never-pursued hobby. The plastic eggs I wanted to reuse with Easter. The left-over wool to knit Christmas decoration with.
All these projects I never finished. These books I never read. These clothes I never wore. These gifts of love I had forgot about.
I sort through them. Keep. Go. Keep. Go. Go. Go. Keep.
I bring two bags of clothes to Buffalo Exchange. They offer $12.50 store credit for one pair of shorts. They’ll donate the rest to local charity. I bring 12 books to Half Prize Books. They offer $11. A friend will pick up kitchen utensils and a food processor tomorrow.
I’m sorting through my stuff and I’m getting a sense of freedom. Spaciousness. Clarity.
These are the values I use as my selection criteria. This is what I want my loved ones to find if I die today. This is what I want to leave behind.
The rest is ballast, burden, attachment.
I’m sorting through my stuff and are getting to the bone of who I am and want to be. Light in body, spirit, and mind.
I’m sorting through my stuff and get to the essence of my life. This is what I want to do, read, wear. This is how I want to be. I am feeling a sense of deep peace arise in me. Life is not difficult. Life is not about having, keeping, planning. Life is about being open, loving, joyful. Life is about enjoying each and every moment, and give the best of yourself.
My favorite artist Ramses Shaffy has this fantastic song:
“De wereld heeft my failliet verklaard, ik heb me nog nooit zo goed en licht gevoeld als nu. Ik heb me nog nooit zo schoon en bevrijd gevoeld als nu.”
Listen to it. Even if you don’t understand the words, you’ll get the jubilant energy of dropping all your luggage and walking light and free. Bankruptcy is a gift of God, not of society. Gosh, I love cleaning up and letting go!
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