Nourish relationships and self-care

Empathy works. It always does.

Fully wanting to be you

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Image courtesy to Flickr“It takes courage to love yourself. It is easier to hate yourself. To always want to improve and change for the better. To never be satisfied with who you are right here, right now. But to fully say ‘yes’ to whatever is here, your anger, your fear of failure, your striving for perfection, that takes courage. You’re trembling in the nakedness of your honesty and you’re fully wanting to be you. I’m fully wanting to be me. Yes, that takes courage.”

I’m in awe with my client. I’m not sure if I have the courage to be fully wanting to be me. I rather be someone else. Happier. More successful. Less jealous. I’m pretty sure I’m fully wanting to be my future self, an improved version of me. Less needy, more lovable.

I’m in awe with my client, and her choice to unconditionally love and accept herself.

I’m in awe with my client and her choice to say ‘yes’ to who she is in this moment.

She reminds me of the ferryman in Herman Hesse’s Siddharta. He doesn’t do much. He tends his garden, he enjoys the sun, he takes people to the other side of the river. Hardly anyone recognize in him the Buddha, the Enlightened One. Hardly anyone even look at him. They just want to get to the other shore, and he is taking them. He is an instrument to their purpose, and as such not very interesting.

I have always been impressed with that courage. To just live your life, not doing much, not striving for acknowledgment, validation, reassurance of your worth. And fully enjoying being alive. Gosh, if I only would have that solidity in me, that groundedness, that self-confidence.

I giggle. That seems like a contradictio in terminis. Wanting to be someone else, so I can fully want to be me.

Hum. Maybe I could start wanting to be me with all my striving for love, acceptance and belonging?

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You want help to fully want to be you? Contact me 512-589-0482. I would be excited to help you on the path of unconditional self-acceptance.

Author: Elly van Laar

I am a coach. I specialize in helping compassionate professionals integrate self-care in their lives. I have a Master's degree in Political Science, Leiden University, the Netherlands. I love meditation, walking, gardening, biking, and hanging out with family and friends.

2 thoughts on “Fully wanting to be you

  1. Thank you, I feel honored with your appreciation.

    Like

  2. What a great blog! I love the insight that it takes courage to fully love and accept yourself exactly as you are, without trying to tweak, change, or improve anything.

    Like

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