Balance purpose, relationships, and self-care

Empathy works. It always does.

True love requires understanding

Leave a comment

Image courtesy to WikimediaTrue love requires understanding. Understanding your beloved one’s pain and sorrow, joys and aspirations. What he delights in, and what he abhors. What gets her excited, and what turns her off. What contributes to his happiness, and what doesn’t.

And then take action. Because you want your loved one to be happy. You want to see her smile, relax, enjoy life.

Understanding needs love too. Without love, understanding doesn’t open your heart, nor inspire compassion. Understanding without love becomes a mechanical one plus one equals two. There is no drive to contribute, no desire to see your beloved one flourish and bloom. Understanding without love is -at most- a tool to please and satisfy.

I feel embarrassed as I hear our Dharma Teacher Terry Cortes talk about true love. I think of Valentine’s day. I bought my love a little chocolate cake in the form of a heart. It looked so sweet, so cute.

My husband stays away from gluten. He refrains eating sugar. He doesn’t snacks, only fruit and dates.

I knew all that.

Yet I insisted on giving him something that was an expression of my culture of celebration. I insisted on introducing something that was me. It had nothing to do with him. It had nothing to do with making him happy. It was about supporting my needs for inclusion and acceptance of who I am.

I realize if I want to show my love to him, I need to ask him how I can best do that. I see that if I want to celebrate our love, I need to ask him what celebration looks like to him. If I want to deepen my love, I need his help to deepen my understanding.

The love is there.

I’m sure a little more understanding will bring miracles.

—–

You want help to deepen your true love and understanding? Contact me 512-589-0482 for a complimentary, discovery session.

Author: Elly van Laar

I am a coach. I specialize in helping professionals schedule time for relationships and self-care. I have a Master's degree in Political Science, Leiden University, the Netherlands. I love meditation, walking, gardening, biking, and hanging out with family and friends.

I am curious to read your response

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s