Coaching for Nonprofit Leaders

Transform Conflict into Collaboration

Vic

Vic is the newbie on Seal Team Bravo, a character in a TV show I watch with my husband.

Vic has had a challenging childhood, missing love, acceptance, safety, a sense of family. When Vic is accepted into Bravo Team, he experiences brotherhood for the first time in his life.

In this episode, the team goes on a covert mission. Unwittingly, Vic throws a grenade in the room where the hostage is being held that the team is trying to rescue. The hostage dies and the mission ends in failure. The team faces serious scrutiny, maybe even charges. If anyone finds out about Vic’s mistake, his membership of Team Bravo will be in jeopardy.

So Vic makes his second mistake, he keeps his actions secret to stay on the team.

He makes his third mistake when his team sponsor and mentor Ray thinks that he, Ray, killed the hostage. We see how devastated Ray is when he imagines facing court-martial and being removed from the team he has been part of for the last 18 years of his life.

Vic chooses a strategy to meet his needs for belonging that violates his values of integrity, honesty, and responsibility. The error becomes a moral weakness.

Eventually video footage surfaces, and we see Vic was the one. Ray is off the hook. Vic is being dismissed from the team. Not only did he betray his own values, but his strategy didn’t even meet his needs. Instead of belonging to the team, he is discharged with shame and guilt.

Marshall Rosenberg calls that “a tragic expression of unmet needs”. We choose strategies to meet our beautiful, universal, human needs that end up sabotaging those very same needs.

I know all too well what that feels like. And you might too. Self-compassion helps with understanding the needs we were trying to meet. Honesty with personal growth when we see which values we violated. And support to discern which values are important and which needs would be effective to nurture those needs.

Would you describe yourself as someone who wants to honor their values and integrity, contribute to others, and nourish self-compassion?

Then you might enjoy coaching with me. I have 23 years of experience with and in nonprofits. And I have a personal practice of empathy, compassion, and mindfulness.

This is what Megan Elkins, Director, Talent Pipeline Success, Workforce Solutions in Austin says about working with me:

“I was just so pleasantly surprised at how much progress I could make. You know, being someone who pursues knowledge for my entire life, you know, I’m constantly trying to learn, constantly trying to self improve, I didn’t realize I had that much potential for growth. Both on like a social-emotional or an empathy scale, but also on a professional scale. I kind of didn’t realize that I had not yet peaked in my ability to communicate with others. And that’s something that was really insightful.”

If you sign up before June 1, you will be grandfathered in at my current fee of $100 per session. And because of Memorial Day, if you sign up for six, you will get one session for free.



What I am reading: Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl:

“Man’s search for meaning is the primary motivation in his life and not a “secondary rationalization” of instinctual drives. This meaning is unique and specific in that it must and can be fulfilled by him alone; only then does it achieve a significance which will satisfy his own will to meaning. Man is able to live and even die for the sake of his ideals and values.”

471

My foster daughter invites me to start an exercise discipline. We use the 7-Minutes app to do 13 exercises, each morning. We both do it at home and inspire each other to stick to the routine.

I say ‘yes’ to support her in her ambitions for a fit, strong body.

And I hate it.

Push-up, plank, lunges, wall sit, high stepping, push-up-and-rotation. I dread them all. There is absolutely nothing I like about it, and I don’t really care that I might get fitter or stronger.

But I continue for her. I then find that she had quit within a few months.

But by now I no longer experience the 13 exercises as so gruesome, or even unpleasant, and begin to like being more fit. I feel the boost of dopamine each time my app counts my new streak.

Even when I only have two hours of sleep during 27 hours of travel, or I have to get up at 6 am, or I am at the airport: I am now on a mission to do my seven minutes, no matter what!

At day 470 I feel super proud of myself. I am approaching 500!

Then I go for a hike with my nephew, we have lunch, and I go to the bathroom.

And I drop my phone in the toilet.

My phone stops working for 25 hours.

And I lose my streak.

No 471 for me.

I can start all over again.

In the past, I might have been so disappointed with myself that I would have given up.

But this time it is different. The 470 days in a row got me hooked enough to return to my routine the next day, even though the app starts at 0.

I realize that I am not exercising for the dopamine, the short-lived reward of the app count, or even to get stronger. I am practicing to build up self-discipline, to stick to a program whether I feel like it or not.

I am actually practicing living by my values and vision, whatever my circumstances, conditions, or conditioning are. I am nurturing what Viktor Frankl calls the ultimate freedom, the freedom to choose who we want to be, and how we want to respond in each instant of life.

You too might face situations that you dread. Struggling to do things because they are challenging. Starting conversations that might derail into more conflict.

Whether it is your interaction with a Director you see as too demanding of you. Or figuring out how to respond to a leader you think is self-serving. Or finding some mutual understanding in a leadership team that seems at odds with itself.

Or just hanging in there as you feel overwhelmed, frustrated, sad, maybe even tired enough to move on to an organization that is easier to work in.

Only for those situations, there is no app.

No simple instructions to go through the motions.

No celebration when you succeed at your commitments, whatever your circumstances.

My clients reach out to me when they want support to have those dialogues. To deepen understanding, find resolutions, and strengthen the team. I support leadership teams, boards, and organizations of all sizes. I share the tools and insights to help you find constructive solutions in conflict.

As a result, you will:

  • Be empowered to transform future conflict into constructive solutions 

  • See the beautiful motivation behind everyone’s actions

  • Understand the underlying causes of misunderstanding that lie at the root of the conflict

  • Build the trust that empowers working together toward a common goal

  • Clarify the priorities to align your team

  • Make requests with Santa-Claus energy

  • Learn to fail fast and forward

  • Walk away with strategies that increase the effectiveness

Talk to me if you want to discuss how this could help you and your organization. I have 23 years of experience with nonprofit organizations, I am a credentialed mediator, certified coach, and I have a lifelong commitment to nourish empathy and compassion:


Sofia Barbato, Director Supportive Services, Foundation Communities, Austin

“I think the other real benefit was just a different way of thinking about things. So thinking about when maybe there’s some conflict in a team meeting, thinking about that conflict in a different way and more as an opportunity to figure out how to collaborate. And I really liked the stuff that we did around Nonviolent Communication, really thinking about the needs and strategies. And I think once I started seeing conversations with people through that lens, it really changed those conversations and made them to be a little bit more collaborative. I felt like I had more empathy for the people that I was working with, whether that be co-workers or clients, and then be able to not even problem-solve, but just kind of solution-find together to figure out what met both people’s needs. And that the strategies sometimes are going to be different, but that we needed to really look at what are the actual needs that we were trying to address.”

Man’s Search for Meaning

Viktor Frankl survived Auschwitz, Theresienstadt, Kaufering and Turkheim.

In 1946 he wrote “Man’s Search for Meaning” in nine days.

Part one is a description of his experiences as a prisoner and slave.

Part two is an elaboration of the psychotherapy he developed: logotherapy, the therapy of meaning. 

I can only read the first part for a maximum of three minutes a day, early in the morning. I need the rest of the day to process the horrors I read and find some peace before going to bed.

The second part I can gobble down like a hungry baby thrush. I find it uplifting, inspiring, and encouraging. I feel excited to realize how much Positive Psychology, Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, and Stephen Covey owe Frankl’s work. I feel delighted to see the similarities between his teachings and those of my favorite Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh.

I keep reflecting on Frankl’s quote of Nietzsche:

“He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.”

I feel humbled to realize that Frankl came to see meaning as the driving force of life after he lost his position at a famous hospital in Vienne, his wife and their baby, his mother, his father, his brother, and all other immediate family members.

I also feel humbled to reflect on Frankl’s view that our lives are not the puppets of pathology described by Freud. We are not about resolving childhood issues. We are not determined by our conditioning or conditions. Our main purpose is not to have instant sexual gratification.

Our lives are first and foremost a search for meaning.

The question is not what we can ask of life, but what life is asking of us. If we suffer, are we worthy of our suffering? If we are happy, are we worthy of our happiness?

I am inspired to ask myself: How can I transcend my situation and contribute to others and the causes I care about?

Some of my clients work on exactly these questions. They have a vision of a world with equity, social and economic justice, understanding, empathy, and peace. They support people with mental health challenges, foster kids, the homeless, inmates, immigrants, future generations, the environment.

And they struggle with shrinking funding, daunting demand for their services, conflict among their staff, turnover, emergencies.

They keep on working. They show up strong for their team, they push through, no matter how overwhelmed, stressed out, frustrated, or stuck they feel.

I am grateful that I have a way to contribute to their lives, work, and purpose. My clients tell me that coaching offers them a place of reflection in the rush of the day.

An opportunity to reorient to self-care and self-compassion; to celebrate the growth they went through.

Or to find a place to talk freely through their issues without being expected to choose what is expected of them, instead of what they value.

And maybe most importantly, we work on understanding and accepting that maybe today, they did enough. That they are not solely responsible for the outcomes. That they can rest.

In coaching with me you can:

  • Learn tools to resolve conflict way faster

  • Nourish empathy to inspire key stakeholders

  • See the similarities between a bougainvillea and your needs

  • Learn from a vegan who gets the best dish in the steakhouse

  • Master failure applause

  • Accept your limitations and use Santa Claus to ask for what you want

Since last week was International Coaching Week, I offer a free session to anyone who signs up for six coaching sessions before May 31. So that is $600 for seven sessions.

Expensive?

If you see it as a cost, it is. If you see it as an investment in your effectiveness, creating the right results faster, it is not.

Talk to me if you want to see how coaching can help you be a more effective leader.

512-589-0482

elly@ellyvanlaar.com

schedule a spot

You already know enough?

Go ahead and sign up here.


This is what some of my clients have shared about working with me: 

“Some of the things that we did together I found very powerful, emotionally powerful. Elly always had creative and engaging exercises that helped me process challenges on emotional and cognitive levels.”

Niko Hilgerdt, Pedagogical Leader, Austin Waldorf School, Austin

“I’m earning more with a lot less stress, in less time and with more satisfaction. I feel really satisfied and fulfilled. I feel like I’m making a positive impact on not just the students at my school, but teachers around the area, the larger area of Austin and beyond.”

Eric Mann, Math and Computer Science Teacher, Longview School, Austin

“I think Elly role-models the way to be present to other people. So if I were going to be with someone else, how I might hear them deeply or listen more closely to what was going on in someone’s life. To maybe hear beyond the words. Maybe just be present to feeling what might be going on for the other person. So it not only helped me, but it helped me think about how I wanted to be with other people.”

Jen Collins, Associate Professor, Texas Tech University, Health Sciences Center 

“Elly’s genuineness in accepting all of my troubles, detail by detail, is felt. But the true wonder of being a collaborator with Elly goes straight to her core beliefs: she is an example that love and empathy will always save the day.”

Conor Jensen, Website Manager, Texas Bar Books, Austin

The squirrel and Superman

We don’t have a lot of songbirds here in Hyde Park, Austin.

We have Carolina wren, American robin, mockingbird, northern cardinal. And occasionally a tufted titmouse.

That’s about it. The rest are grackles, blue jays, doves.

To attract more singing birds, I hang up a bird feeder specifically designed for small birds.

And squirrels… evidently.

On the first day, the most audacious squirrel eats right through the plastic of the feeder tube and feasts on the food.

Gone, all of the seed.

No problem. I hang a plate over it, so he can’t access the feeder.

The next day I find that he can. Don’t ask me how, but I see him hanging at the bottom of the feeder, stuffing himself with seeds as if he is in the Garden of Eden.

Okay.

Game over. I plan to beat him with my human intelligence. I hang an aluminum lasagne pan over the plastic plate. This will make the top of the feeder so wobbly, that any attempt to swing around it to get at the feeder, will result in him losing his balance and falling to the ground.

Little did I know of the acrobatic tenacity of my squirrel superhero. I watch him while he figures out the wobbly aluminum pan. He tries this and that. He tries again. And ultimately he succeeds.

While I am sad about not having attracted any songbird, I am certainly inspired by this squirrel. He is a phenomenal example of a growth mindset, not being hindered by any limiting belief, 200% committed to achieving his goals.

Maybe you want some of that mindset yourself.

Maybe you feel stuck, because you have tried everything to inspire a key partner to contribute to the success of your mission and he still doesn’t return your calls. You feel frustrated and hopeless, and maybe consider giving up.

Or you really need focused time to work on your most essential priorities, and your team keeps interrupting you with urgent, but not so important issues. You feel depleted and overwhelmed.

Maybe your team meetings have a few talks all the time and your timid team members don’t get speak up. The atmosphere is contentious and you know you are not utilizing all the wisdom in the team.

Or your responsibilities are just exhausting you, and you want to change jobs but feel too scared to give up financial safety.

These are some of the things my clients have worked on. They created amazing results and found that the coaching was not just a worthwhile investment, it was also a much needed space to reflect on their values, get feedback and inspiration, and fail fast forward.

In honor of International Coaching Week, this May I offer anyone who signs up for six coaching sessions one extra free session. So that is $600 for seven sessions. Sign-up here.

P.S.: You want to see if this would be something for you? Schedule a free, discovery session.

P.P.S.: As of June 1, you pay $150 per session.

P.P.P.S.: You can use those seven sessions till November 15, 2020.

The professor is howling at the nurse

Every night at eight p.m. my neighbor across the street, a university professor, goes outside and howls.

So does the real estate broker from his backyard, And the owner of a radio station three doors away.

Even my neighbor, the nurse, goes outside to howl.

And yesterday, I did too.

It is the silliest thing I have done in a while. And I feel utterly amused.

Here we are, dressed in our home slack, howling at each other.

I can even hear people in other parts of our neighborhood howling.

The howling lasts just a few minutes. Afterward, we chat a little bit, and in eight minutes or so we go back inside, to whatever we were doing before the howl.

I know that in Italy, Spain, and the Netherlands people went outside at eight p.m. to applaud the nurses, doctors, and other front line people who keep us healthy, safe, and fed.

Here in Hyde Park, Austin, Texas we howl.

Maybe that’s the reason I like it so much. Because it doesn’t make any sense. It doesn’t contribute. It doesn’t help. It is silly, visceral, and we laugh and connect.

And we see each other from a new perspective. No serious talk about the virus, shopping, planting, politics. No updates about work and life. Normal people with regular jobs, doing something silly together.

In a way it reminds me of coaching.

My clients tell me that they value coaching because it helps them to see situations from a different perspective.

To look at their issues with fresh eyes.

To gain a deeper understanding of what is meaningful to them.

And to have space to reflect on priorities and values, beyond the daily rush of things.

You might like the idea.

And you might think that a coach is too expensive. My clients have that consideration too.

This is what Eric tells me afterward:

“It was absolutely worth my money. I feel like it was well-thought-out. The process was awesome. I was encouraged and challenged to do that kind of deep, reflective work. And the outcome of that has been worth it.”

Not only did he leave a job that wasn’t a fit for his aspirations, but he also found a job in which he is earning more with a lot less stress, in less time, and with more satisfaction.

While he had to pay a mortgage, and his wife was not earning any income because of maternity leave.

This was not a result of me being pushy or bully whipping him into shape.

This was the result of him being in a brave space, where he could authentically connect to himself, question his norms and assumptions, and have enough support to make unconventional choices.

You might not need any of that.

You might be good on your own, with family and friends supporting you.

But if you are curious how working with me could help you, you can schedule a free, discovery call with me.

Anyone who signs up for coaching with me will be grandfathered in my current fee of $100 per hour, as long as they coach with me at least once a month.

June 1, I raise my fees to $150 per hour.

Bumping your head against the communication ceiling

A few months ago I did a little market research.

I wanted to know:

Who are my best clients?

I could do this very scientifically. And I could do it quick and not-so-dirty. My favorite research method is:

Follow the results.

Which clients come back, year after year? Which clients refer me to other clients and organizations? Which clients introduce me to their staff? Which clients engage me for different services? Which clients give me stellar reviews? And which clients create results that leave me breathless and inspired?

It was easy to come up with a list of a dozen clients who I love to work with.

And they share a dozen or so similarities.

A few of them stand out:

They resolve issues by reflecting on themselves.

They have the guts to make decisions that honor their authenticity.

They invest empathy and compassion in their relationships.

Of course.

They are leaders in nonprofits and education. They value contribution. They choose meaning over money. They are driven by a sense of purpose. And they don’t accept the world as is, they have a vision of what it can be.

And that’s what they choose to spend their time and energy on.

They are, what Stephen Covey calls, “highly effective leaders“.

Their next challenge is:

To inspire their team, their supervisor, their Director, their donors, and other stakeholders to work together to bring that vision about.

To transform conflict into collaboration. To prioritize and focus on the big rock. To take a stand for the long-term vision, no matter the pushback from current circumstances.

In the last few years, I have been experimenting with how to do that. My clients provided me with valuable insights and wisdom.

As a result, my marriage is stronger, my family ties are more loving, my friendships are more joyful. And I am happier in my own skin.

My clients also created impressive results. Some left their job for a career that is more meaningful and financially rewarding with less stress. Others changed good relationships into even better ones. Others transformed their relationship with important stakeholders from an antagonistic into a supportive one. Another has more effective team meetings. And yet another changed their open-door policy into focused time to address important issues only they can address.

That’s why I decided to offer a new service.

A Membership.

For anyone who wants to get support to be successful in transforming their relationships from conflict into collaboration. Or good relationships into even better ones.

And I would like your input for that.

Which questions do you have about communication and self-compassion?

Let me know which topics you would like to be addressed in the membership.

Thanks!

Are you making these five mistakes when asking for what you want?

Last week I was in an online marketing training. One of the participants shared that she saw me peeing while on Zoom.

Ouch.

Of course I felt embarrassed about it. But that feeling passed pretty quickly, as there were only eight or nine participants on the call and I expect to never see them again.

As soon as I hang up, I realize that the session has been recorded. The recording will be available to all the previous, and current, and future participants in this program.

At least 230 participants so far and counting.

My anxiety peaks, as I realize that I am the only participant with her full name visible under her screen!

I am in a bind about what to do.

I can wait and hope I will be saved by some technological issues, like the recording failing. Then I don’t have to ask for help and reveal my embarrassment even more. But, it would leave me at the mercy of random events.

Or, I reach out to the virtual assistant, face more embarrassment as I share my blooper, and it can’t get fixed. But, I create the chance that it will.

I choose the second option. Even though it seems an unpleasant choice.

Pauline and Sinian, troopers as they are, laugh out loud and reassure me that the participants’ screens don’t even show up in the recording.

Making requests always involves sharing vulnerably and honestly what you’re feeling and needing. It always involves undressing emotionally, not knowing how the other will respond to your nakedness. You might get a better outfit, or you are laughed at.

But making requests is not a random thing, where you are dependent on the mood and goodwill of others. Successful requests follow a reliable pattern. There are simple steps to significantly increase the chance that you will get what you want. And the good thing is that you can do it in a way that feels like a gift to others!

In my online presentation “Effective Communication for Leaders in Nonprofits and Education”, you will:

  • Hear the five biggest mistakes when asking for what you want
  • Understand what Santa Claus has to do with requests
  • Connect the dots between a bougainvillea and request
  • Learn from the vegan who gets the best dish in the steakhouse
  • Get 10 words to improve your requests

See you Tuesday, April 28, 8:00-9:00 am CST on Zoom. (Make sure your camera is off if you’re peeing.)

Sign-up here.

Peeing on Zoom

I am on a video call with my business marketing training group. The trainer presents his material. Above the main screen are the initials of the participants.

I feel disappointed that I am the only one with a camera on. Seeing the faces of the others would bring me more connection.

I am enthralled by the materials that are shared and the questions answered. I am delighted and engaged, I gobble all the info down like a hungry duckling. I watch the slides keenly and carry my laptop around while I am doing chores. 

Halfway into the session, the presenter reads a chat from one of the participants. “Tell everyone to turn off their camera, I can see someone on the toilet.”

I think “Poor guy, forgetting to turn off their camera while they do their private business. So embarrassing.” I feel lucky that I have participated in enough webinars to know to turn the camera away or off.

…..

Then I look at the screen with the initials of the participants. And Elly’s happy face…

With a shock, I realize that I have forgotten to turn off the camera, and it is me in the bathroom. I am blushing with shame as I imagine who else sees me pee.

I can’t help and think that nonprofit leaders might end up in similar situations. Hopefully not peeing on Zoom, but experience the gap between what they think they are doing and how others perceive them.

I have heard examples of this. Like a leader who intended to be fair and neutral, and yet gets accused of racial bias.

I have heard about simple intentions to contribute, being received as bossy and interfering.

Leaders who try to balance all needs, and yet choose relationships over honesty and authenticity, unintentionally eroding the trust that issues can be discussed openly.

Or they work hard to help and still hear staff complain about feeling overwhelmed and not getting the support they need.

Lastly I’ve heard a leader report that even though they thought they set clear boundaries about availability, they work 12 hours Monday through Friday and get calls at the weekends.

Instances, where the message sent, is not the message received. Moments where they have to spend extra effort to clean up the confusion and misunderstanding they did not intend to create.

Fortunately, you can learn to be a more effective communicator and increase the chances that how you want to be seen, is how you are perceived.

For all those, who want to learn what to do and not do, I offer a discovery webinar “Effective Communication for Nonprofit Leaders”.

You will:

  • Hear the five biggest mistakes in communication
  • What to do better while listening to your team members
  • The 10 words that will improve your requests
  • Connect to other nonprofit leaders
  • Get a once-in-a-lifetime offer

See you Tuesday, April 28, 8:00-9:00 am CST on Zoom (and make sure you’re not in the bathroom with your video on….).

Sign-up here.

You don’t have a negativity bias, do you?

This pandemic triggers all kinds of feelings in me: anger, sadness, fear, panic, shame, guilt, and a lot of “shoulds” about how I should help more. These are feelings and thoughts that I am not such a fan of,  especially when they come in huge quantities.

I know from reading and listening to Rick Hanson that our brain is wired for the negative. He calls it velcro for the negative. According to him, we need four times more positive than negative input to counterbalance this negativity bias.

So I started a mission to look at all the “positive” conditions for my happiness. And who is a better role model than Julie Andrews playing Maria in the Sound of Music, singing “These are a few of my favorite things”?

Inspired by the lyrics I look at all my favorite things. Like the purple bearded irises in my yard. I planted them in December. And even though I tried to take care of them, they didn’t do much. All the irises in the neighborhood have been blooming like crazy, and mine just stood there as green stalks in the ground.

Until a few weeks ago. Suddenly they started blooming like crazy.

Do you have a similar situation? You think you’re taking care of your supervisees, but they still are overwhelmed and stressed out?

Or you try to empathize with your board, and they just keep telling you that you don’t understand the relevance of the issues at hand?

And even though you want to add value, does your supervisor tell you that your input distracts the team from the main focus?

Or you keep trying to keep a balanced perspective, while you wobble from an angry donor or disappointed stakeholder to the next?.

Whatever your intentions are, maybe you don’t see the results you’re trying to create. No joyful lawn of blooming flowers. Just stalks that seem to stand still.

Join my discovery webinar “Effective Communication for Nonprofit Leaders”. We will address how “resulting” can get in the way of our most excellent choices, intentions, and efforts.

As a result, you might enjoy your connections with those around you, let go of the outcome, focus on what’s at hand, and go to bed rejuvenated after smelling the flowers.

Free webinar “Effective Communication for Nonprofit Leaders”, Tuesday, April 28, 8:00-9:00 am CST.

Sign-up here.

I fall from a wobbly chair and twist my ankle

I am standing on a wobbly, one-legged chair with a wide footing. Its seating is torn up. Basically, a few threads held together on the edges. In the last five years, I have stood on it probably 219 times to unhook the cloth line to reel it in.

I have never lost my balance. I trust I won’t lose it this time either.

Only, today I feel exhausted and I am distracted as I look to the right at a fascinating, exotic bird.

I lose my balance to the left. I fall on the concrete patio. Fortunately, my instincts help me to keep my head and wrists safe. But the rest of my body is not so happy.

I lay on the concrete patio for a couple of seconds, before I manage to get up.

I can barely walk. My hip feels incredibly sore, my knee seems bruised, and my ankle can hardly carry my weight.

I know I need to ask my husband for help. He is a miracle healer of sorts, and I know he can support.

But I don’t want to ask for help. I feel ashamed of my stupidity for being distracted and I struggle with familiar, habitual thoughts that are screaming in my head “I am such a clumsy idiot!”

I feel too embarrassed to take the risk that he will blame or shame me for what I believe is true. Even though I know he won’t, I don’t have the mental and emotional resources and will take even the slightest raising of an eyebrow personally.

I rather hide in my study and suffer in silence.

That is certainly what I would have done in the past.

But this time I remember how much worse bad situations became as a result of silencing and hiding my need for support.

Being the hero he is, he neither blames or shames me. Not even the lifting of an eyebrow. He immediately puts me on the couch and brings me icepacks and blankets. Even a stuffed animal.

I feel relieved.

And I wonder how many others have learned all too well to toughing it out, rather than vulnerably asking for help.

Maybe I am not the only one who would love acceptance of their struggles.

Or feeling overwhelmed trying to get everything done on their to-do list, slugging through 7:00 am-9:00 pm?

Maybe others also have a sense that they are responsible for everything.

And I bet I am not the only one who does so much better working in a supportive environment of trust and honesty.

Probably.

And just like me, we all can learn to ask for help. Even when we are the cause of our own pain and suffering.

And you don’t need to hit the concrete patio to do so. It’s easier:

Join my free webinar “Effective Communication for Nonprofit Leaders”.

You will:

  • Learn the five biggest mistakes when making requests
  • See how a vegan gets the best dish in a steakhouse
  • Shift your paradigm about requests and see them as strengths, not weaknesses
  • Understand what Santa Claus has to do with getting help
  • Connect with peers and inspire each other
  • Memorize ten magic words for constructive requests

As a result, you will be more confident that you can create the collaboration you want, inspire others to support your cause and goals, and transform conflict into collaboration.

Tuesday, April 28, at 8:00-9:00 am. Maximum nine nonprofit leaders.

Contact me with any questions. I am here to support you.

Or sign up here.

All the best,

Elly van Laar

Coach for Nonprofit Leaders