Coaching for Nonprofit Leaders

Transform Conflict into Collaboration

No, thanks. I know how to resolve conflicts very well.

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The toilet is constipated

The toilet is constipated

I just cleaned the bathroom, when my toilet gets constipated. Before I know it, the bowl with all of its contents is overflowing. I am too late to grab the plunger. I can only stand there and see the spotless floor turn into a yukky mess. I have no choice but to grab...

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The man with the hat

The man with the hat

Empathy needs honesty. That means leaving your team leader hat on the hook and listening as a human to a fellow human.

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Empathy with Confederalists

Empathy with Confederalists

Of course, he reacts to my Facebook post about restitution for descendants of slaves with: “You are free to give all of your money to the descendants of slaves if you wish. But ordering me to do it at the point of a gun is morally wrong. That’s no different than...

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Your coworker is yelling at you. Now what?

Your coworker is yelling at you. Now what?

“Elly, Elly!” Layla jumps up and down when she sees me. Then she starts running around her mom in circles. Her older sister Lily tells me with a serious look on her face: “We had a good talk yesterday.” I agree. I had never realized the importance of streamers on your...

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Empathy without compassion

Empathy without compassion

George Floyd Breonna Taylor Ahmaud Arbery Mike Ramos Justin Howell Brad Levi Ayala Empathy without compassion can be cruel. It would be like sitting next to a choking man, listening to his pain, reflecting back his words “I can’t breathe”, and then not helping, or...

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Protests, grackles, and ways of renewal

Protests, grackles, and ways of renewal

There are protests in Austin. A car is set on fire, nine shops are vandalized. The police use tear gas and I can hear helicopters all night long. The highway is blocked off by protesters, I can hear voices through a megaphone. probably less than three miles away. And...

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Vic

Vic

Vic is the newbie on Seal Team Bravo, a character in a TV show I watch with my husband. Vic has had a challenging childhood, missing love, acceptance, safety, a sense of family. When Vic is accepted into Bravo Team, he experiences brotherhood for the first time in his...

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471

471

My foster daughter invites me to start an exercise discipline. We use the 7-Minutes app to do 13 exercises, each morning. We both do it at home and inspire each other to stick to the routine. I say ‘yes’ to support her in her ambitions for a fit, strong body. And I...

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Man’s Search for Meaning

Man’s Search for Meaning

We are not determined by our conditions, by our conditioning, by our childhood. We determine ourselves by our search for meaning.

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The squirrel and Superman

The squirrel and Superman

We don’t have a lot of songbirds here in Hyde Park, Austin. We have Carolina wren, American robin, mockingbird, northern cardinal. And occasionally a tufted titmouse. That’s about it. The rest are grackles, blue jays, doves. To attract more singing birds, I hang up a...

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The professor is howling at the nurse

The professor is howling at the nurse

Every night at eight p.m. my neighbor across the street, a university professor, goes outside and howls. So does the real estate broker from his backyard, And the owner of a radio station three doors away. Even my neighbor, the nurse, goes outside to howl. And...

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Bumping your head against the communication ceiling

Bumping your head against the communication ceiling

A few months ago I did a little market research. I wanted to know: Who are my best clients? I could do this very scientifically. And I could do it quick and not-so-dirty. My favorite research method is: Follow the results. Which clients come back, year after year?...

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Peeing on Zoom

Peeing on Zoom

I am on a video call with my business marketing training group. The trainer presents his material. Above the main screen are the initials of the participants. I feel disappointed that I am the only one with a camera on. Seeing the faces of the others would bring me...

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You don’t have a negativity bias, do you?

You don’t have a negativity bias, do you?

This pandemic triggers all kinds of feelings in me: anger, sadness, fear, panic, shame, guilt, and a lot of “shoulds” about how I should help more. These are feelings and thoughts that I am not such a fan of,  especially when they come in huge quantities. I know from...

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A bee is waking me up

A bee is waking me up

What is the difference between empathy and sympathy? And why do we even care? I believe empathy helps us to respectfully understand what others are experiencing. This helps with supporting them most constructively. Read what bees have to do with all of that.

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Excited readers

  • “Hoi Elly, fantastic again this one! The plumbing of our communication is constipated!” – John van der Steur, Austin, TX
  • “This is excellent Elly! I love how you are integrating your Buddhist and NVC Practices and how open you are in sharing your experiences. The fruits of your practice are benefiting so many beings! Love, Andrea.” – Andrea Black, Austin, TX
  • “What a great image to describe how I let small things go and then it’s a shitty mess!!! Brilliant! Thank you for thinking up and delivering these fantastic resources Elly! Yay!!!” – Jen Collins, Austin, TX 
  • “Nice post today, Elly!  I, too, instinctively go for the counter-argument first instead of slowing down and thinking about empathy. Great advice!” – Michael Katz, Hopkinton, MA
  • “Elly, this is a FANTASTIC and needed message right now for me. How do I approach someone with whom I deeply disagree…? Wow. Thank you for sharing!!” – Jen Collins, Austin, TX
  • “Great to see you specializing, plus your newsletters just get better and better with the new focus. Super applicable to me.” – Abigail Harris, Portland, OR
  • “What a great story, Elly. Thank you for being so vulnerable! What a fantastic way to turn an embarrassing story into a wonderful lesson! Love.” – Jen Collins, Austin, TX
  • I have been appreciating your wise, insightful, and funny posts for your coaching work.” – Andrea Black, Austin, TX
  • “Inspired…. and inspiring.  Elly, that fills my heart with hope and a sense of privilege to know you.   I hope many people will reach out to you today and feel the love and empathy.” – Bren Hardt, Houston, TX
  • “Ha Ha Ha.  This was precious!” – Eliza Walls, Austin, TX
  • “Dear Elly, You wrote an absolutely lovely letter. Compassionate and full of hope. EmojiEmojiEmoji” – Madeleine, Austin, TX
  • “Ha-ha. Your tale (tail?) is funny and precious. So, embarrassing, sure, but I bet it also gave observers a thrill of human connection to you and the rest of the group. I enjoy your messages.” – David Phillips, Austin, TX
  • “I read your piece on ‘bids for connection’. It’s all, I don’t know how else to say it, it’s all really good.” Tahni Handal, Austin, TX

Do you enjoy those little gifts in your inbox? Then you might enjoy donating some happy money!