Transform Conflict into Collaboration
You want some inspiration?
The do’s and don’ts of living with empathy, compassion, and integrity
“Thanks!!! I enjoy reading all of them!!” Carol Jean L-Z, Austin, TX
“Oh wow, Elly! How many people have been in your shoes and decided to meet their needs for emotional and financial safety, instead of their needs for integrity????” Diane Emerson, Vashon, WA
What does Triominos have to do with Interbeing?
I’m playing Triominos. By myself. Usually I play with my husband, but he isn’t home. I put nine tiles in front of my right hand, and nine tiles in front of my left hand. My right hand has the triple five and starts. My left hand needs to take a stone. My right hand is...
Big, blue, teary baby eyes are asking for help
My friend Kadi is in the ER. Her husband calls me to see if I can take Anora, their 14 months old, to their apartment and hang out with her until Kadi is released. I love Anora. They all lived across the street and we used to go for a walk, every day, till they moved...
Am I under attack from a squirrel?
I am sitting happily in my backyard, writing in my journal. It’s 8 am. The sun is shining. The breeze is fresh, it’s finally cooling off in Texas. It’s quiet and peaceful. Then I hear hassle and bustle in the tree above my head. I see a squirrel on the branch, maybe...
I step in poop and learn my lesson
I step in poop. With my bare foot. I was at Margaret’s house. She is one of my best friends and needed to run some errands. She had asked me to watch her kids, Maya and Kiran, and their dog, Luna, a sweet Labrador Retriever. I know Luna has diarrhea, because I have...
Dopamine and my to-do list
I love lists. I love writing down what I want to get done, how much time it will take me to get it done, and especially crossing it off when it’s done. Hell, yeah, I’ll even write down a chore I have already finished. Just for the sake of crossing it off. Since three...
Diagnosis and understanding
I am not a big fan of diagnoses. From 1997-2007 I worked for mental health institutions. I have seen the same person diagnosed as manic-depressive, then depressive, then borderline personality disorder, then back to depressive. I have seen more than 100 people who...
Restore your core-value
“I feel frustrated with my marriage. I am done with it! I don’t want to deal with his anger and resentment anymore...” “What would the absence of his anger and resentment bring you?” “A sense of peace. Someone who is available to me, someone who is willing and able to...
The legacy that motivates me to get up in the morning
I am born and raised in the Netherlands. As a child I saw my dad suffering deeply from his experience as a child in WW II, an experience that he never talked about till a few years ago. Every May 4 the Dutch people commemorate those who died in WW II and the aftermath...
There is a thought. It is.
When is the last time you saw someone talk to the chair on their porch and say, “You shouldn’t be here”? Or, “What’s wrong with you?” Or, “You should be ashamed being here”? I’ve never seen it. And if I had, I probably would have thought them a bit crazy. Most people...
Books & Publications
Enjoy!
Leadership Coaching
Explorations into the Being and Doing of Coaching
17 Chapters written by 17 wonderful coaches. One of them is me.
For Clients
Free Webinar “Effective Communication”
What is Nonviolent Communication?
Making Irresistible Requests
These Are Not Feelings
About Elly
Immutable Laws
Terms and Conditions
My Teachers
My Passion