Transform Conflict into Collaboration
You want some inspiration?
The do’s and don’ts of living with empathy, compassion, and integrity
“Thanks!!! I enjoy reading all of them!!” Carol Jean L-Z, Austin, TX
“Oh wow, Elly! How many people have been in your shoes and decided to meet their needs for emotional and financial safety, instead of their needs for integrity????” Diane Emerson, Vashon, WA
An Ode to Vulnerability, Authenticity. And to My Husband
This is an ode to my husband. Or maybe better, an ode to our human capacity to balance authenticity and togetherness, our ability to differentiate. "Differentiation involves balancing two basic life forces: the drive for individuality and the drive for togetherness....
Dog bites, flowers, and impermanence
Do you remember when I wrote about being accidentally bitten by a dog? The grandma sent me a basket of flowers, arranged like a dog with a bandaid, and a big smiley balloon. I have kept that basket on my desk. As you can see, most flowers are brown and droopy (except...
Compassion Without Empathy Can Be Harmful. I Learned First-hand.
I’m at my friends’ house. They have two kids, Maya and Kiran, and two dogs, Luna and Sol. I wrote about the family earlier in “Stepping Into Poop”. The dogs are playing in the living room, the kids and I are working on math and essays, the parents are at work....
I’m in a shame storm
I’m in a shame storm. I’m in our NVC group, practicing empathy with a buddy. My husband walks by. He says “I hope my eating won’t disturb you too much, honey.” I feel the urge to explain to my buddy what my husband is talking about. “Well, uh,... you know,... I have...
Juggling and learning new things
I’m juggling. Four balls. My best is maybe five catches. I drop them a lot. Almost all the time. My husband juggles too. He drops too. More than I do. He’s practicing seven balls force bouncing on a double stacked rola bola balance (watch the video, it's insane). He...
Walking in my husband’s shoes
We’re at Sangha, my Thich Nhat Hanh mindfulness community and we’re starting our mindful walking. One step in front of the other, taking a breath with every step, solidly feeling the ground underneath our feet. I always love this practice, it slows me down and...
Running around, looking for my Buddha nature
I’m up early. Before the crack of dawn. I love it. I feel energized and excited about a new day, about being alive and having the opportunity to contribute, learn, and receive. I get dressed and make my tea. Green tea. Yum. Then I hear the alarm on my phone go off....
Living a life of purpose
It's Easter weekend, and many Christians are commemorating the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. One of the things that always struck me about how the event is told in the Gospels, is how reluctant Jesus was at being crucified: "Please, Father, take this cup from...
A Peace Agreement for Our Country
After the elections, one thing that stands out to me is the need to create circles of listening. With myself, with family and friends, and especially with those who have different points of view. I want to understand the beautiful needs behind all choices. I want to...
Books & Publications
Enjoy!
Leadership Coaching
Explorations into the Being and Doing of Coaching
17 Chapters written by 17 wonderful coaches. One of them is me.
For Clients
Free Webinar “Effective Communication”
What is Nonviolent Communication?
Making Irresistible Requests
These Are Not Feelings
About Elly
Immutable Laws
Terms and Conditions
My Teachers
My Passion