Transform Conflict into Collaboration
You want some inspiration?
The do’s and don’ts of living with empathy, compassion, and integrity
“Thanks!!! I enjoy reading all of them!!” Carol Jean L-Z, Austin, TX
“Oh wow, Elly! How many people have been in your shoes and decided to meet their needs for emotional and financial safety, instead of their needs for integrity????” Diane Emerson, Vashon, WA
I fall from a wobbly chair and twist my ankle
It can be hard to ask for what you need. Even more so, when you are in a shame storm. And, you can still learn it!
A bee is waking me up
What is the difference between empathy and sympathy? And why do we even care? I believe empathy helps us to respectfully understand what others are experiencing. This helps with supporting them most constructively. Read what bees have to do with all of that.
A pole is not a pole
When you reflect, before you react, you can increase the chance of true understanding. This in turn helps with collaboration and conflict resolution.
Taking the leap
What kind of support do you need to reach your Big Hairy Audacious Goals? When we know failing doesn’t mean, we harm ourselves, it is that much easier to take risks and learn from the experience.
Screaming in giraffe
What do you do when adrenaline is running through your veins, and your needs are unmet?
Shame, Creative Tension, and More
All my commitments fly out the window: “I reflect, before I react.” “I see the positive in every person and every situation.” “I accept myself unconditionally, especially when shame arises.” In a second. I have nothing left but a puddle of shock, fear, shame, and...
All the conditions for my happiness are right here in a plastic cup
The camper slowly turns into our driveway, needing all the space we created by moving our cars. I can’t wait to see my brother, sister-in-law, and eight-year old niece. It’s their first visit since I moved from the Netherlands to Austin in 2009. I feel very, very...
A car driver shatters my enemy image
My husband and I are on our daily walk around the block. We do that twice a day, to connect, listen, and hold hands. It’s always the same circuit, more or less 1.5 miles long. It’s drizzling, so I’m extra worried and aware that cars might not be as attentive as I...
Our four choices when receiving hard to hear messages
(This is a re-post from January 2018, when it was still cold. I hope this is a refreshing reminder that everything is impermanent, also temperatures) It is sleeting. The road is getting slippery. It’s also getting dark. And it’s rush hour. Everyone seems anxious to...
Books & Publications
Enjoy!
Leadership Coaching
Explorations into the Being and Doing of Coaching
17 Chapters written by 17 wonderful coaches. One of them is me.
For Clients
Free Webinar “Effective Communication”
What is Nonviolent Communication?
Making Irresistible Requests
These Are Not Feelings
About Elly
Immutable Laws
Terms and Conditions
My Teachers
My Passion