Transform Conflict into Collaboration
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The do’s and don’ts of living with empathy, compassion, and integrity
“Thanks!!! I enjoy reading all of them!!” Carol Jean L-Z, Austin, TX
“Oh wow, Elly! How many people have been in your shoes and decided to meet their needs for emotional and financial safety, instead of their needs for integrity????” Diane Emerson, Vashon, WA
Empathy with my judgments
Remember The Corleones? Sonny, the hothead, who gets killed in the Five Families War? Fredo, the traitor, who sells out his family to Hyman Roth and is killed for it by Michael’s gunman? Michael, the cold-headed strategist who is willing to order the killing of his...
Empathy struggle
I struggle listening to her. Doesn’t she see you don’t get more harmony and collaboration by putting your child in time out? Or that slapping him in a “pedagogically way” doesn’t bring more understanding? Let alone peace? She should do the Judge-Your-Neighbor...
Do cop killers really exist?
He is a cop killer. The trial prosecutor wants him dead: "He's a really bad guy". And so it is. We execute Licho Escamilla Wednesday October 14. Cop killers never get a stay. But is he a cop killer? Well, yeah!!! He shot an officer in the back of his head, three...
Protective use of force
“I respect y’all opinions, but if they didn’t do these vicious killings, we wouldn’t have to kill them.” A bypasser calls to us as we sit in silent witness for the scheduled execution of Juan Garcia on the steps of Texas State Capitol. Juan is executed for the 1998...
How can you empathize with a psychopath?
Repulsed. Shocked. Disturbed. Terrified. I watched the trailer to the documentary “The Act of Killing”. It starts with one of the killings Anwar Congo and his death squad committed during the Suharto extermination of alleged communists in the sixties. You see and hear...
Where is the we in me?
Where is the We in Me? Probably not in my thought that he abuses his power to exclude others. Nor in the thought that she should listen before she speaks. And certainly not in the thought that they should change their minds at minimum, if not their hearts. I recognize...
Stand your feelings
How often did I tell myself to stand my feelings? How often did I proclaim that this is the indispensable first step to connect to the needs underneath those feelings and recognize them as precious and beautiful? How often did I tell people that standing your feelings...
My fear, my child
She hears a soft crying. She can hardly hear it with Anger yelling in her ears. He is trashing the place down. She probably should pay attention to him, but something is drawing her to this crying. She can’t quite determine where it’s coming from, somewhere in the...
Meet my Jealousy
My jealousy is really ugly. Not a bit ugly, like unpleasant to look at, but really disgustingly ugly. It is dangerous too. It is covered in a contagious chemical that you can’t smell, taste, feel, see nor touch. It contaminates anyone that comes close to it by making...
Books & Publications
Enjoy!
Leadership Coaching
Explorations into the Being and Doing of Coaching
17 Chapters written by 17 wonderful coaches. One of them is me.
For Clients
Free Webinar “Effective Communication”
What is Nonviolent Communication?
Making Irresistible Requests
These Are Not Feelings
About Elly
Immutable Laws
Terms and Conditions
My Teachers
My Passion