Helping Nonprofit Leaders Transform Conflict

Leadership Coach and Mediator

Term 1: Collaboration

We work together to get you closer to your goals. You are willing to be honest and vulnerable. I offer nonjudgmental listening and surprising questions. We help you better understand your dreams, values, underlying beliefs.

As a result, good relationships get better, key stakeholders connect you to the shakers and doers to create systemic change, you have more energy to enjoy your family, and your team actively works together to find solutions for the problems.

Term 2: Meet All Needs

We trust that we both contribute to each other. We share our positive intentions and efforts, and accept our limitations. We practice being honest if we want something differently, and open to feedback. We work together to create an empathic and compassionate space, so you can experiment and reach your goals.

Elly's Immutable Laws

1. Compassion reigns

I open my heart to the suffering of others and stretch myself to contribute and bring joy.

2. Empathy works

I always try to understand the needs under each behavior, even ‘tragic expressions of unmet needs’.

3. Failure applause

I am learning to celebrate all my failings (and gosh, there are so many of them!) as signs of expanding myself and taking on new and challenging things, not as a reflection of my self-worth. Yep, the growth mindset.

4. Gratitude saves the day

I am aware of how much I’ve been given to, even without asking: sun, life, my parents, siblings, food, safety. I practice generosity and share my riches with others.

5. Own my stuff

I am responsible for how I am feeling and what I’m needing. I work on my Judge-Your-Neighbor sheets to transform blame of others into requests for help. I reflect on what I can do better myself, without shaming, blaming, or guilt-tripping myself. (Failure applause really helps with that).

6. Pet every puppy and kitten

I cannot do great things, only small things with great love. Did you know that petting dogs and especially cats strengthen the parasympathetic nervous system? Great for relaxing.

7. Smile to every child

Dostojevski advised us to smile every moment of the day because we never know when a child sees us. And we want to instill in them trust that the world is basically good and that people are kind. This might be the biggest impact we'll ever make to the future of our planet.