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Celebrating our inner child

EllykinderfotoHave you ever met your inner child?

I have.

At the Mindfulness Retreat I attended with my Thich Nhat Hanh Sangha last weekend.

I was enthralled by the workshop Gale and Curt organized for us. I valued the support for deep self-connection, the safety of our group, the sharing in our circle, the individual and pair work it offered.

I cried a lot.

And yet, I was not suffering.  I was not even sad. I was just touched to spend time with my inner child.

My inner child has a sense of innocence, happiness and excitement about life. She is curious and eager to learn and contribute. She is satisfied with where she’s at and doesn’t need much.

She certainly doesn’t need the forcefulness of a protector — a protector who lives in the fear and responses she created when I was around eight years old. A protector who still thinks it is 1973 – who believes she has to scramble to get a pancake before they are eaten by her siblings. A protector who still carries the fear that her siblings will start to talk over her as soon as she starts to tell about her day and stutters.

My inner child knows better.

She knows that was then and now is now. She doesn’t fear that there isn’t enough, or afraid that she doesn’t matter. She simply trusts that we share our basic goodness and that the world is a fantastic place – waiting to be explored and enjoyed. My inner child engages people and life with openness, authenticity and vulnerability.

I am so moved to meet her.

As I look at her, I understand Thich Nhat Hanh’s Second Mindfulness Training in a whole new way:

True Happiness: “…I can live happily in the present moment, simply by remembering that I already have more than enough conditions to be happy…”

I always thought that those conditions referred to my material well-being, my physical health, my marriage and friendships. This weekend I learned they do not. The conditions of my happiness are the unconditional acceptance and love I receive from my inner child. With her I can relax. With her I can manifest my true self and realize my dreams.

Contact me 512-589-0482 to understand and nourish the conditions of your happiness.

Thank you, David Nayer, for editing this blog at such a late notice. My life is richer by your support.

When was the last time you honored your inner child?

Last Saturday I took my first hip hop class ever. I was so excited! I had been wanting to take classes for years, and always told myself I had no money, no time, no spaciousness. After moving, I decided to pick up one hobby, and hip hop was my choice.

I expected to be completely confused about all the moves and steps, to be by far the oldest, to have the least snazzy outfit. And yes, that was exactly what happened.

Image courtesy to what I hadn’t expected, was that I would cry for the first 15 minutes solidly. Tenderly. Tears rolled down my eyes, no drama, just a deep sense of gratefulness that I had taken the class. 43 Years after I first wanted to be a dancer.

I wasn’t the oldest, I was the youngest. Here sat the six-year old Elly who so deeply wanted to take ballet classes, and was told that that was not her thing. She was sent to girls scout instead. For 43 years that big dream got covered under home work, chores, family events, work, community commitments.

And now, after all those years, I am finally listening to the little girl inside me, and honoring her wish to be a dancer. Of course, I won’t make it to the professional stage. I don’t need to, I don’t even want to. I am happy with blogging, coaching, and mediating. That’s so me. And in the weekends I can become the best dancer Elly can be.

I didn’t get the steps right, the moves were too complicated, the speed was too fast, and when I finally mastered one move, the class applauded me. I cried again. My six year old was delighted.

January 20, I wrote a post about dying at peace, in harmony with myself. I know I am heading there, now that I chose to live my life to the fullest right here, right now.

With my six-year old. And all the other parts of me.

I am very, very happy.


Want help honoring your inner child? Contact me 512-589-0482. I would be excited to work with you.