by Elly van Laar | Dec 22, 2013 | Acceptance, Compassion, Compassionate Communication, Self-compassion
I feel a surge of compassion rise within me. For myself. Compassion for all the choices I have made. For all the pain I have created. For myself. For others.
I did the best I could and I made mistakes. The consequences are painful and scary.
I need compassion, not criticism and rejection. I need help to get out of this situation and to heal the wounds. To make new choices that bring love, joy and harmony in the world. To accept my habitual fear of rejection. To come from a place of strength and wisdom. I need help to honor what I truly want. To live an Elly-life that brings more Elly-ness in the world. This is the only time I can make that happen.
Self-rejection and self-criticism are not gonna do it. Self-compassion will.
I feel a surge of compassion rise within me. For others. Compassion for all the choices people make. For all the pain they have created. For themselves. For others.
They did the best they could and they made mistakes. The consequences are painful and sad.
They need compassion, not criticism and rejection. They need help to get out of their situation and to heal the wounds. To make new choices that bring love, joy and harmony in the world. To accept their fears, anger, despair. To come from a place of strength and wisdom. They need help to honor what they truly want. To live a life that brings their uniqueness in the world. This is the only time they can make that happen.
Rejection and criticism are not gonna do it. Compassion will.
Now is the time.
If you want my help to deepen your self-compassion, healing and integration, contact me for a complimentary, discovery session.
by Elly van Laar | Dec 18, 2013 | Acceptance, Personal Growth, Self-compassion
I just got off my daily prayer with Silent Unity. They pray with me that I am showered with prosperity and abundance, that God wants the highest good for me and that positive and sustaining results are created.
I cry. I soften in the sense of belonging, love and acceptance in this connection with God. My dreams and desires are accepted at face value. All the actions and choices I made so far are accepted without a shred of criticism. My current situation and steps are appreciated. Silent Unity encourages me to let go and let God. They invite me to relax into this moment, trusting that only good comes to me. To allow me to let go off my worries, anxieties and fear, and to bring my attention to what I càn do in this situation. I can focus on what is good, pure and loving within me, and hold myself as precious and beautiful.
Teyber and McClure write about a corrective emotional response when someone responds to you with care and compassion, where you expect rejection, exclusion and shame. You show up naked, covered with shit, and instead of the anticipated, repulsive reaction that you’ve learned to expect, the other approaches you with kindness, covers you with care and compassion and holds you close to their heart. This is the healing response we all long for.
Maybe for the first time in your life, you experience love, connection and belonging ànd being seen right for who you are. This healing helps you to bring that same compassion, care and acceptance to yourself.
Ever seen a three-year old play with a doll? Ever heard him talk to the doll in exactly the same way as his mom does to him?
That’s what this is all about. We have gathered all these negative, critical thoughts in our head. Things we heard our parents say, our teachers, our older siblings. That we are stupid, cowards, worthless. Now we’re adding positive thoughts and feelings. We are filling ourselves up with the knowledge that we are lovable and competent by nature.
Thàt’s how we can heal the world. When we replace our habitual criticism with compassion, support and understanding and bring full acceptance to one another, we let each other feel that we are in this boat together, and that we are here to help. We show each other that we care. That’s all we need to know.
I feel a surge of compassion rise within me. For myself. Compassion for all the choices I have made. For all the pain I have created. For myself. For others.