Helping Nonprofit Leaders Transform Conflict

Leadership Coach and Mediator

Group Coaching
A 3-month program for students of wonder

Online group coaching: living in integrity

Discover how to overcome inner obstacles and respond constructively to the challenges of life (without getting overwhelmed, even if you tried all kinds of groups before and read every book on personal development)


Do you ever doubt …

  • whether you will ever feel satisfied with how you show up in life?
  • if you are the only one who seems to fail their own aspirations?
  • if there are others who feel overwhelmed with all the racial injustice, environmental degradation, poverty, and mass incarceration and don’t seem to get in action?
  • if there is something wrong with you, because you like to slouch on the couch with a glass of wine instead of relieving someone’s suffering?
  • if you ever gonna make an impact and create sustainable change?

Prevent what happened to Kimberly

Kimberly volunteers in a mental health outpatient facility. One of her clients works really hard to build herself a life, despite her mental health challenges. Let’s call the client Melissa. Kimberly feels moved by Melissa’s ferocious efforts and invites her into her social circle. She takes her out for lunch and does whatever she can think of to contribute to Melissa’s self-worth, belonging, and acceptance.

Three months into their budding friendship, Kimberly gets a phone call from Melissa.

Melissa is enraged that Kimberly didn’t respond to an email asking for help. She goes on to tell her what an imposter Kimberly is, that she is just a do-gooder and fraud like everyone else, and doesn’t really care about her.

Shocked, Kimberly listens, unable to speak. After 10 minutes Melissa hangs up, leaving Kimberly ashamed, baffled, sad, and frustrated.

 Despite all her good intentions and efforts for the last three months, the relationship fell apart in 10 minutes. And up to this day, Kimberly hasn’t figured out how to repair the relationship. She is even scared to connect to others with mental health challenges in her life.

Recognize this?

If you recognize even a tiny part of Kimberley’s story, you know how frustrating it can be to live with an open heart.

If you want to act compassionately, you have to balance your own needs with the needs of others, discern when you need to act now and when you can wait, and accept your limitations without negative self-criticism. 

Without getting stuck in analysis paralysis, guilt, or exhaustion.

So how do you see your basic goodness and the basic goodness of others, even when relationships can be challenging?

I believe we can get there by focusing on our circle of influence, and trusting that others will pick up whatever you can’t pay attention to.

As a result, you can enjoy supporting others and enjoy your lazy days. With actions that bring you delight and keep you in equanimity.

I felt supported when Elly named what I was feeling, and sat with me in that feeling, and helped me examine some of the thoughts that were underneath that feeling, to keep it from being too vague or difficult to handle.

It was the ability to name a specific experience. And in reflecting on it, I was able to see what created it. And Elly offered compassion for it and helped me offer compassion to myself for it. It’s always been a wonderful experience.

I think Elly role models the way to be present to other people. So if I were going to be with someone else, how I might hear them deeply or listen more closely to what was going on in someone’s life. To maybe hear beyond the words. Maybe just be present to feeling what might be going on for the other person. So it not only helped me, but it helped me think about how I wanted to be with other people.

Jen Collins

Faculty, Texas Tech University, Health Sciences Center

We start soon!









Living in integrity can be challenging

Especially when we compare ourselves to others. When we compare ourselves to the heroes of our time. People who have made incredible sacrifices for a higher purpose than themselves. Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, Viktor Frankl, Thich Nhat Hanh. And even lesser well-known people like Ruth Burrows or Brennan Manning. Or the people in our immediate environment.

And I don’t know about you, but when I compare myself, I start to feel so shitty that I come up with excuses for my failed aspirations. My childhood wasn’t harmonious, my parents were too involved with paying the bills to support my aspirations, I stuttered and had social anxiety, we didn’t have money to buy the clothes to fit in, I struggled with self-worth issues. You might have your own set of excuses.

The simple message I have?

It doesn’t matter.

No matter where we are in life, we always have the choice to live in integrity. To respect our own values and immutable laws. And to take a step closer to our aspiration. We might never get there, but we can get closer. After all, Moses is one of the great patriarchs and never reached the promised land either.


You need the following ingredients for that life:

  • A dedicated community to help you face your inner obstacles with compassion (and inspire you to take that step even if it seems scary).
  • A brave space to be honest and authentic.
  • A willingness to acknowledge and celebrate your own basic goodness and the basic goodness of others.
  • A good dose of humor to take our failings not too seriously.
  • Some level of tenacity to try and try and try again till you know what works for you.

You get it: it takes more than just an intention to live in integrity. And I think it is a shame to see so many loving and engaged people struggle with self-love and self-care as they work so hard to make this world a better place.


That’s why I am starting a 3-month community program PLEDJ

Pledj stands for Peace, Love in Letting Go, Equanimity, Delight, and Joy. 

That’s what I hope you will walk away with after participating.

This community helps you to live in integrity amidst racial injustice, environmental degradation, poverty, mass incarceration, an immigrant crisis, while also sustaining yourself.

  • if you are the only one who seems to fail their own aspirations?
  • if there is something wrong with you because you like to slouch on the couch with a glass of wine instead of relieving someone’s suffering?
  • if you ever gonna make an impact and create sustainable change?

I just love the safety that Elly and David have created in their home. The welcoming of others into their house to learn such an important, life changing skill. And the grace they have given to people for being okay to learn and fail in that environment. Sharing and expressing the occurrences that are happening in their life and feeling safe that it is confidential, that is what they both have created. And going further in the didactic and trying to use the tools in real life situations is life saving. It is so great. It has been lovely.



Pledj-Community, 3-month online program

It is a loving community where you discover:

  • How you can overcome negative self-criticism and nurture self-compassion, so your actions are informed by your values, not by your habit energy, guilt, or ‘shoulds’.
  • Why failure applause helped Nicole to take bolder risks, fail forward, and celebrate her progress.
  • How to ask for what you want with Santa Claus energy so that others feel excited to meet your needs.

What do you get when you join?

The online Pledj-community consists of 3 modules:

1 Empathy with Yourself

  • Why empathy with yourself is absolutely crucial to live in integrity
  • How others can help you understand yourself better
  • What self-compassion has to do with empathy

2 Empathy with Important Others

  • Tools to practice empathy when you are triggered
  • What you can learn from a tomato plant
  • How to get to win-win solutions

3 Empathy with Those We Don’t Know

  • The importance of tonglen for expanding your compassionate heart
  • What Eisenhower can teach you about your circle of influence

I know enough, this is exactly what I want!

 But that is not all.

As a beta-participant you also get these 3 extras:

  • Weekly email reminders to keep you on track

    Super handy! This way you will have practice tools to implement what you learned in your daily life.

  • A membership platform

    So you can keep in touch with other participants, share experiences, ask questions, create polls, and receive encouragement.

  • The chance to receive personalized support in every module

    If you join our 6 online meetings, you have a chance to share what’s on your mind to make progress. Custom designed.

I was so pleasantly surprised at how much progress I could make. I didn’t realize I had that much potential for growth. I kind of didn’t realize that I had not yet peaked in my ability to communicate with others. And that’s something that was really insightful.

The other thing that I really benefited from was understanding that while my intentions are good, the way that I present my intentions, was a barrier for me getting through to people. Having some guiding questions or some norms to keep in mind when I’m working with difficult people, that is really beneficial.

I immediately felt rapport. Immediately I felt like I can be 100 percent vulnerable, 100 percent honest. And that is something that is very unique. And to be able to establish that from day one was really powerful.

Megan Elkins

Director Talent PipeLine Success, Workforce Solutions, Capital Area Austin

100% Money Back Guarantee

You don’t like the program? You get all your money back (minus the weeks that you participated in and the payment processing fee). I only want raving clients.

Fill in the survey to see if this is a match.

No worries. Your info is confidential and there are no strings attached.

David, Elly’s husband, about Elly: Elly is like trying to bottle a thunderstorm or a walk in a meadow full of little flowers. There is so much richness you need to slow down to take it all in. There’s a little bit that’s unpredictable, there’s something surprising, and certainly something vulnerable and inspiring. She is a reminder to look at what is alive in my life.