We don’t chose the times we live in, we only chose how to respond

 My grandfather and I are standing on the porch, ready for our daily 30 minutes of connection.

He stops and listens to the birds. “It is so beautiful here, so peaceful. I feel so happy to just stand here with you and listen. To feel the breeze on my skin, the sun on my face, to hear the songs of the birds. Just quiet. Nothing to do. Nowhere to go… I loved that back home. Sitting in the yard with my wife, your grandmother, watching our children run around. I loved working in my office and seeing your dad play with his cars on the carpet. I loved being with my family… It’s all I ever wanted…”

Tears drop down his eyes.

“You live in the world I dreamed of… Peaceful, safe, welcoming… I never wanted to be a hero. I much rather had lived a quiet life, full of love, laughter, togetherness. Much like the hobbits in Lord of the Rings… But we don’t chose the times we live in, we only chose how to respond to them…”

Tears roll down his cheeks.

Image courtesy to Wikimedia

“It is like you clearing up the poison ivy. Of course, you much rather read a book, or go for a hike, or relax in the sun. But that’s not your choice. Your choice is to eradicate it now or let it grow till it covers your grounds and blocks your path. I knew that if we didn’t stand up against the Nazi’s now, the consequences would be far worse, for far more people, than any risk I took individually. I didn’t chose my time, I only chose how to respond. I wished I had never had to make that decision.”

He starts sobbing.

“I wished I had seen your dad graduate, marry your mom, have her kids, be promoted at work… I wished I could have held you in my arms, your siblings, your cousins… I wished I had lived to be old enough to witness your dad grow into the source of support he is, for your mom, for you and your brothers and sisters, for his siblings, for his family-in-law… Gosh, he is a rock… An incredible son… An amazing man…”


“I never chose the time I lived in, only my response… You honor me most by enjoying and appreciating the world I tried to contribute to.”

We sit together, quietly. Then his sobbing calms down.

“Your times are different. And it is your choice how to respond to them. I hope you bring your delight and gratitude into your response.”


You want help to respond to the time you live in? Contact me 512-589-0482 to schedule a complimentary, discovery session.

Trusting my life energy will bring me everything I need

My granddad wants to tell me how to run my business.

Image courtesy to frozenmotion.typepad.comOops. Not my thing.

I rather want him to engage my power, creativity, and resilience.

I move to my granddad’s spot on the right and he responds: “I get you. I would love to hear your ideas!”

I feel relieved. Moving back to the Elly-spot on the left, I thank him: “Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for honoring my autonomy. I feel happy that you give me space to explore myself what’s working, and what’s not.”


“You know, opa, I really liked talking with the participants of my Communication for Connection Group. I valued hearing what they’re looking for, what they like about the group, and how they want to contribute to our community. I enjoyed making a spreadsheet with participant attendance and evening averages. I have no clue how this is helping the growth of our NVC community, and I just enjoyed the ease, flow, connection of the day… I got stressed out when I forced myself to clean the bedroom. I absolutely didn’t want to do it, I much, much rather had worked on my marketing strategies. But I had planned for it, and so I did.”

“You know, opa, I realize that I don’t trust I will accomplish anything if I go with my life energy. I’m afraid that I will end up just sitting in the woods, enjoying the birds, the breeze in the trees, the bright green fern springing up from the creek.”

I feel a sadness arise.

“Granddad, I am afraid that if I would DO what follows my BEING, I would not HAVE anything. I’m afraid that if I don’t run around being busy, doing a lot, I won’t have anything. Especially love and acceptance. A sense of belonging….”


I don’t trust myself. I don’t trust that my life energy naturally and joyfully will bring me everything I need to thrive and self-actualize my full potential…

We sit quietly for a few minutes….

He just sits there, looking a the trees…

“Wow, Elly. This sounds like the core question of our human existence. It sounds like the essential issue of wholeheartedness. Thank you for sharing, I feel touched by your dilemma.”

Nothing changed. Yet, I feel relieved. Just being clear about where I am stuck. I need nothing more for now. I can let my system process what we just talked about. I trust that it will bring me everything I need.


You want help to trust your life energy? Contact me 512-589-0482 to schedule a complimentary, discovery session.