Nourish relationships and self-care

Empathy works. It always does.

Don’t let your goals dominate you

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GrowthI went to the Netherlands in October 2013, and had long and extensive conversations with my dad about the development of my business. Upon my return I set myself financial goals. $300 More each month, till I reach $5000 per month at the end of 2014. I think these goals will inspire me to reach out for potential clients more actively and provide me with concrete criteria to decide whether it is financially viable to stay in the USA.

The intended inspiration becomes into a burden.

What I hoped would be energizing turns into a constant critical inner voice telling me I am not good enough, that I don’t do enough, that I don’t have enough. The voice sneakily reminds me of old thoughts that I don’t add enough value to my clients to have a prosperous, abounding business.

The initial enthusiasm and impetus to promote my work disintegrates into a daily reaffirmation of my well-known, deeply ingrained sense of scarcity.

My goals are not helping me, they are blocking me.

I watch Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche (Thanks Iektje for sharing). Dedicate 10% of your time to be compassionate, mindful, kind. Don’t bother about the other 90%. Just focus 10% of your time to fully live your intention. This is enough to -slowly- change habitual patterns and show up more and more as the person you want to be.

I can do that. I can add 10% more income each month. I can gradually, steadily grow my income, instead of frantically striving for the big bumps of $300 a month.

I feel so relieved that I jump up to adjust my projections. It turns out I am way ahead of my new goals!

I feel energized, confident and relieved. When I see these new numbers, I know I can easily reach my goals and have enough time for all the other things I love to do.

Setting out goals beyond any realistic achievement is not inspiring, it is discouraging. Setting goals a little bit beyond your comfort zone is. It improves your chance to succeed, and that success will encourage you enough to reach for the next level.

My new goals help me to regain control of my life and reconnect to my purpose and passion. That’s what I want my goals to be about. About me.

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You want help setting goals that are inspiring, encouraging and realistic? Contact me 512-589-0482 for a complimentary, discovery session. I would be honored and happy to work with you.

Author: Elly van Laar

I am a coach. I specialize in helping professionals schedule time for relationships and self-care. I have a Master's degree in Political Science, Leiden University, the Netherlands. I love meditation, walking, gardening, biking, and hanging out with family and friends.

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